Interviewing a happily married couple - tips on how you can stay in love with your spouse

 

1. How did you meet, and how did that meeting kindle your love? 

Wife:  we first met in elementary school, but we began dating in youth group in high school. Having shared history is a wonderful bonding feature of our romance. 

Husband: well, we met in second and third grade. So I won’t say that that kindled our love. But in high school, one night at our Youth Group, she sat down next to me and said I was really good at guitar, which is a very sweet lie, and that’s all it took. 

2. How do you keep the spark alive even after many years of marriage? Emotionally speaking? 

Wife: Always think the best of your partner, and put their needs above your own. 

Husband: There’s lots of ways to do that. But I think the most important is being deliberate and intentional about our marriage and our love and that spark. It’s like building a fire. If you want to light a fire, you need fuel. And you need an ignition source. And if you have that, you can start a fire. If you want to keep that fire going, you have to feed it. And marriage can be like that. 

3. How do you keep the spark alive even after many years of marriage with actions? 

Wife: prioritize dating and romance in the middle of busy daily life. 

Husband: I’m going to go back to my previous answer, where you need to be intentional, which means putting in a good effort to make the other person feel special and loved. That could be things like bringing home flowers, or planning a date night. Or even helping out around the house. Or writing a note for no reason at all. Because all of those things will make someone feel important. They matter. 

4. How does family influence your relationship? 

Wife: Family is the strongest bonding component in a relationship. When you’re together forever, you have no fear of your marriage ending. 

Husband: We’re the center of our family, and we believe that having a good marriage is key to a strong family. And we want to model positive behavior to set good expectations for the next generation. I want my kid to expect a good marriage and to be treated well, and to expect and want a good marriage with a good spark. 

5. How do you work through a fight? 

Wife: Kindness matters. Disagreements happen, but being respectful and kind goes a long way. Always assume the best of your partner. 

Husband: It’s hard to say. We don’t really fight. But in general, what’s really good to do in any situation, is to avoid absolute terms like never and always. To limit the scope of the conversation to the current situation, like no dragging up past issues and fights. Stick to the current matter. And always assume the best about the other person’s intentions and wishes. 

6. What tips would you give a newly married couple? 

Wife: Um, be patient, be kind, don’t say anything you’ll later regret, and always be on each other’s side. It is not husband vs wife it is husband and wife vs the disagreement. 

Husband: Some people treat the day to day of being in a marriage like they’re keeping score. Or that everything needs to be split 50 - 50, whether in terms of chores or money or anything at all. I think that’s a mistake. I think that our marriage is successful because both of us try to give 100 percent, instead of focusing on who’s done 50 percent. If we try to give 100 percent, we’ll always get above 50 percent if we try together. The most important though, is making God the center of your marriage. Make him the focus, take cues from his example in the Bible, and base your marriage on that kind of love and care and give the kind of love He gave us, to your spouse. 

7. What tips would you give an elderly couple? 

Wife: Just to remember you’re always who you are, and the people who fell in love all those years ago are still inside. 

Husband: I think I would ask THEM for tips! ☺️

8. What tips would you give a couple dealing with some issues? 

Wife: Issues don’t go away when you start a new relationship. You have to fix those issues. Get help if needed, and remember, you can’t take words back. 

Husband: It depends on the issues. But in general, if you’re both making God the center, you’re both treating the other person with love and respect, if you’re both acting with good intentions, and if they can listen to each other, they’ll be fine. Don’t think about what to say when you’re partner’s done talking, just listen. There’s no issue that can’t be worked out. 

9. How does religion tie into all of this? 

Wife: If you have the same faith, it is really best for your relationship. Marriage is based on Jesus and the Church where both parties are respectful to each other. Sacrifice your own needs for your partner to continue to live in harmony. 

Husband: For us, we’ve made our relationship with God, the center of our marriage. We follow what He tells us in His Bible. And the relationship between us and God and Jesus and the Church, are so important to our marriage. 

10. How would you describe love? 

Wife: it is the greatest gift in the world. It is eternal. It is the greatest thing we have in this world, in all of its different forms. 

Husband: I think that love is wanting the best for someone else more than I want anything for myself. Love is wanting someone to be happy, more than I care about my own happiness. Love is trying to follow the example of Christ in the way that I care for someone. In other words, love is about making your partner more important than you.